YOUR LOVED ONES, THEY MATTER!
As a child in an African home, I had little or no say. I was taught that respect for my elders was the ultimate and when being scolded, I was not allowed to speak except given permission, which was a rare thing. My father who was in the paramilitary ruled with a heavy hand. His word was law. Once I became older and went to the university, I rebelled and fought to be free. As soon as I was done with college and got a job, I moved out of the house to a distant location. Living alone was no fun; I had to pay bills that I never knew existed. I wanted to get away from my dad, so I toughed it out.
I rarely went home to visit him. One time I went home, and all of a sudden, my dad had aged. He looked frail and tired. He was ill but I did not know. When I found out, he had a stroke. He landed in the hospital and I had to be away from my job for about three weeks to care for his needs. He was discharged from the hospital and we became friends. I would sit with him in silence. I came home every week to visit him, and I realized that he was just being a father in the best way he knew. A few months after he was discharged from the hospital, he passed away!
WHO ARE YOUR LOVED ONES?
Your loved ones are the people who care about you, the ones who have your back, the ones whose shoulder you cry on, the ones that hurt when you hurt and smile when you smile, the ones that you swear to lay down your life for; those are your loved ones. It is not just family. Anyone can be dear to you, even a stranger.
YOUR LOVED ONES AND YOU
You might say you need no one but if you lose your loved one because of pride, anger, distance, or death, you will hurt in ways you never knew existed. As the years go by, there will always be a wistful feeling of loss. You will yearn for them but it might be too late. You can keep your loved ones close by. Do not take them for granted. So go after them, call them, get on the next flight and appear at their doorstep just this one time. Treat them like they are worth your time and resources, and do not put them in impossible situations. Love unconditionally, be a friend in every circumstance, be humane, and have a conscience. Do not take their being around for granted; they could be taken from you at any point regardless of age. It is not always death; war, location, and arguments could create a wedge in your midst. We all need support from others.
WHAT IF IT IS TOO LATE?
For some, it is too late. Death may have swooped in like a vulture and snatched your loved one away. You constantly live with the guilt of the love lost before the permanent separation. You just have to forgive yourself and forge ahead. If there is the need to see a therapist, do it. There will always be a yearning, but the guilt will be gone and the pain will be less. Loved ones are like roses, they beautify your life. They matter!
